- "Good evening, we are The Fall.
3 pints of 5 bits (?). Hit me!
Now, the very nice speaky (?) TV
… and it's your birthday.
September, on the fifth, and no one can ever describe the meaning of ...
Let me take a (whup!) and is it ...
Town bar, one year, the can.
He's a rabble-rouser with no rabble at all
Surreal
Stuck up your nose and not rub it on your face
Are you looking at now
the next lyric
as you stumble down cobbled alleyways of stone
what is the meaning of it all?
We all won't try to follow
because at the end of it all it's too fast
3-pence (?) x 2
You can't dance
1 GBM (?) hyphen
2 blasted romantic of the past and present
and I ask you
is it your birthday?
as you stumble
as you stumble through back alleyways in the old part of Brockleyhurst,
just refurbished, are you rective (?) or are you intern up (?) to the ttttt....." (alternative lyrics to Birthday Song)
-" to the hilt
people worry about their milk
you're dying for a filch"(alternative lyrics to Touch Sensitive)
- "You don't know where it's at/And you kick the cat..."(alternative lyrics to And Therein)
- "I don't want to go to work on my bike/back anymore...Turn the DAT off you fucking idiot. Turn it down! Turn it down! Turn it down! (song restarts after a minute of trying to turn it off)
Restarts with a very detached-sounding vocal:
What I wear
It's conditioned of Mr. Moody's glare
What I wear
it’s the skin(?) in Manchester's new lair
on its origin
and the song breaks down cos it hasn't got a backbone about it
You’re not offering me? It’s my fucking band. Cheapskate! (As Nev is bought a pint?) (He Pep!)
- "He was talking about his debts
I was thinking about my principles
In the Greater Manchester HM
a friend was lying tied across a tram line (?)
He had his fingers in his back
Poor kid
He got run over
and what a fucking prick...
There's one more verse actually" (after band end song. Smith then sings most of the last verse over the hyper-charged musical chorus)
"(alternative lyrics to Levitate)
- "Why don't you be mature about it in your jewel-cast fucking suit
you frontman little chubby you ...(reference to Neville?) (The Joke)
- "If only thoust would recognise what would be a good idea to seize and put the desperate placards of Jane's style back into place.
Can't you see the evil who would wrong. (Ten Houses of Eve)
- "New fucking song, isn't it" (as Neville riffs against Julia's keyboards )
To all to go for all to know...You'll have to turn the fucking lights down. Where's the light engineer is he fucking gone? Turn them down. Thank you very much.
Lacerating across your skull
while your bald dumb down to alcohol counselling they say
natter natter natter...your father plays 1970s guitar all night
domestos or alcohol related products like me and Neville
or injecting vodka into your veins
Who is that man chattering
He's not fixed the bathroom cistern" Shake Off)
- "Before the grub becomes a moralist
Before the records he becomes incensed
... compilation of Fall tunes
If I ever end up like an alternative comedian
cut my throat with a garden tool (ref to Stewart lee who compiled A Past Gone Mad)
12 June 00 Ashton:
- MES leaves the stage and Neville fills in on vocals, shouting for the crowd to call MES back. It goes something like this:
"If only... if only Mark would come onstage and sing (garbled) like he would... if only you'll call Mark onstage to sing like (garbled)... call him on, please!... call him on... call him! Call Mark! Thank you!... He's not taking any notice... Cheers mate, here y'go... CALL HIM, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Don't ask me to do poetry! Call him! Call him!" (from Ten Houses Of Eve)
14 June 00 Middlesborough:
- "1-2-3-4..."(nothing from band)..."Come on, let's go...Tommy ?...Touch..." (band go into WB)
22 September 00 London:
- "You've got to hurry up now cos Neville and Tom have got to get back to the pub..." (followed by various unintelligible MES comments) (after Cyber Insekt)
26 November 00 Glasgow:
- "I am the man to help you with your internet problems." (before Way Round)
1 December 00 Whitley Bay:
- "Good evening, we are The Fall, we thought we were in Whitby, we thought we were in the wrong town."
17 April 01 Brighton:
- "There were two Librans sat on a hill, and they were in Penny Lane in Brighton, which was very amusing for them both." (Crowd laughs out loud) as MES gets confused with the Lanes shopping area in Brighton)... (during Two Librans)
22 April 01 Oxford:
- "This is the revenge for 'Who Wants to be A Millionaire' We've come back to pay you off. 1,2... You invented it, you invented it. We're Back, Oi! 1234" (before Cyber Insekt)
25 April 01 Macclesfield:
- “I watch channel sky TV” (extra lyrics in Afro-Ibis Man)
20 November 01 Seattle:
- "We plough the hills and scatter the low grade lichen of mankind" (before Cyber Insekt) (also spoken in other gigs before this song)
23 November 01 New York:
- "Janice on the FM radio please explain to me..." (in middle of Cyber Insekt)
20 February 02 Vienna:
"Every night I have to play this song, good evening, we are The Fall (?)...blah, blah,blah."((during Mansion)
21 February 02 Salzburg:
"We plough the fields and scatter the sub-grade lichen of mankind... the sub-lichen of mankind... 1, 2, 3, 4!" (after Mansion and into Cyber Insekt)
"And the group is very, very tired today. They've had a long train ride and a massive big meal so they (plague?) (played?) everything (garbled)" (after 2 Librans and into Antidotes)
20 April 02 London:
- "You'll have to excuse the bass player - getting too much into the Camden scene." (after an aborted Two Librans)
22 September 02 Blackburn:
- "Good evening we are The Fall, there were 2 Librans sat on a hill, 1 2 3 4.." (before 2 Librans)"
- "Good evening we are The Fall, from the depths of your electricity DVD TV dinner."
- "Both did genuflect.....over the long long long days, purple apple pie in a (?)....strawberry fields on a mountain, whenever(?)....over the long long long lost days, hit it!......One said to the other yippy yippy yippy i-oh.....Two Librans sat on a hill dancing in semen......Tolstoy and Ch-ch-ch-ch-cheknov....over the long long long days of blob(?) September......and though I never met my father, and all the water pumps outwards and outwards forever.....and over the rusty nails of his parchment, over and September and December mould into the greyness of Camden....hit it!....Well livin' in a lab, sorry to say, bought a hat from a devil on a judgement day.....And in the mansion of our souls, they are looking over a pile of spotted dick! Hit it!"(lyric changes on Two Librans)
-"Could be worse" (referring to the roadie's reading of Enigrammatic Dream)
- "This is a special one for all the BT people, all the BT people who died on September 23rd" (before Telephone Thing)
- "Shipman, why did you do it to us.....what about us - wheyhup....." (during Hit The North)
30 September 02 Brighton:
- "The group like the beach so much....it reminds them of their mundane but fast lives." (before Mr. Pharmacist)
3 October 02 Gloucester:
- "Not used to playing cafes." (Into 'Ghost In My House' and in reaction to cups of coffee being drunk stage front.)
21 November 02 Camden:
- "I don't know why we're doing this next one, but I'm sure...(slurs)" (before There's A Ghost In My House)
- "Chip Pan...Chip Pan, you'd better come up here now!.....wahhhh.....I lost a message to my friend, you gotta support a (???)...that's my job!" (introduction to Dr Buck's Letter)
"Good evening we are The Fall, there were 2 Librans sat on a hill, 1 2 3 4.." (before 2 Librans)"..."Good evening we are The Fall, from the depths of your electricity DVD TV dinner."
- ""Both did genuflect.....over the long long long days, purple apple pie in a (?)....strawberry fields on a mountain, whenever(?)....over the long long long lost days, hit it!......One said to the other yippy yippy yippy i-oh.....Two Librans sat on a hill dancing in semen......Tolstoy and Ch-ch-ch-ch-cheknov....over the long long long days of blob(?) September......and though I never met my father, and all the water pumps outwards and outwards forever.....and over the rusty nails of his parchment, over and September and December mould into the greyness of Camden....hit it!....Well livin' in a lab, sorry to say, bought a hat from a devil on a judgement day.....And in the mansion of our souls, they are looking over a pile of spotted dick! Hit it!"(lyric changes on Two Librans)
12 July 03 Atlanta:
- "And the next one is (reprise?)...never leave her..." (before And Within)
- "This next song is about, about the green of England...it's a (beautiful?) (before Contraflow)
-"You've got about two million pounds' worth of equipment there, behind the stage...got a microphone..." (during I Am Damo Suzuki)
2 October 03 Manchester:
- "So nice to be here, in the hometown..." (before Behind The Counter?
- "Trebor Mints are a minty bit stronger, Stick 'em up your haemoglobic and they last a bit longer" (before Bourgeois Town)
- "Are you tired enough you two? Do you want a rest? What is it..." (before Mere Pseud Mag Ed.)
27 October 03 Manchester:
- "Good afternoon, we are The Fall."
11 December 03 Sheffield:
- "This is not fucking Pop Idol" (walking onto stage after a long delay)
7 December 03 London:
- "We're back...the end...the end (?)...we're back...We are very honoured to be invited back to your great city...it is not long, long ago since we are visitors to (iron?) country (?)...I‘m sure your premier (?) for you all...in his longest alliance“ (before Big New Prinz)
2 February 04 London:
- "Thank you very much. So nice for you to allow us into your great presidential system...Hit it !" (before Middle Mass)
- "This is a 2004 tune" (after two oldies, Middle Mass/Pharmacist, and before Janet, Johnny & James)
- (To group) "There's still people here !" (before a 7 minute Contraflow)
16 April 04 Atlanta:
- "Well, we've tried the Athens sound system and the main thing is we're not taking this sound system away with us, we're not taking it away...we like it very much...but here is our new film soundtrack recorded especially for the (honourable? ?) (before Theme From Sparta FC)
1 May 04 Austin:
- "And the next one is......each little bird...honey dripper" (into Mod Mock Goth)
11 July 04 York:
”Good evening we are The Fall. So nice to be back again in York. When was it last time we were in York? 12AD."
7 August 04 Crawdaddy, Dublin, Ireland:
“Cavalry of calvery
Cavalry of calvery
The flat is evil
The flat is evil
It is half-cocked
It is within the realms of cavalry or calvery
G ood evening we are The Fall
From the last vestiges of your normality
Do you, do you...
Cavelry and calvery
Half-cocked
I was knocking on the shop
On one leg, on my right
I saw a poster with a man's face on it
I had to limp fast
I had to limp fast
There was a curfew for my kids
There was a curfew for my kids
I had to limp fast
I had iron in the right of my leg
I had to go fast
To pick up the kids because of the curfew at 10 o'clock
I saw a big indestructable poster at the top of the road
It was big and indestructable
Indesructable
And the newspaper had a picture of a man on the front
It said you need eye passports
Eyes on the passports
I turn on the TV and I saw Faithless
And do you love me?
Or do you not?
Do you love me?
I was walking down the street
I turned on MTV when I got home
I turned on MTV when I got home
There was some shit groups
They were going, they were going
"I cannot make it up the hill"
"and I cannot make it down the hill"
And then a black guy comes in and goes "watadoyaweya"
I love you
Or do you love me?
You broke my heart
Then I went to the Bronx Station
Had a newspaper
Curfew one
Curfew, no smoking
I said...
Blindman, have mercy on me
Blindman, have mercy on me
Blindman, have mercy on me
I was walking down the road
With a right leg full of steel
I was beyond curfew
I didn't have the card
I didn't have the card
I didn't have a card or the eye ID for my eyes
So I said to the Home Secretary...
Blindman, have mercy on me
Blindman, have mercy on me
Blindman” (alternative lyrics in Blindman, in the second ever playing of this song at a Fall gig)
9 October 04 Cologne:
- "That's the last roadie you will ever see on the stage" (after Boxoctosis)
(A soundman came onto stage to correct the mic. He made the whole way from the mixing desk through the packed crowd. It was after MES turned the mic off Spen's bass drum - thanks to mjungblu for this information)
9 October 04 New York:
- "You must keep still...at all times" (wheelchair-bound MES after high energy Mr. Pharmacist, with much moshing)
28 April 04 Glasgow:
- "Good evening, we are The Fall (?)...You have a curfew at 11.30" (after opening song, Theme From Sparta F.C.)
10 February 2005 Knitting Factory New York:
- "We are the living legend" (opening lyric in Blindness)
- "Thankyou very much. Goodnight. [some words that are unintelligible to me...]this group." (after White Lightning)
17 June 05 Berlin:
-" And, who wrote the GLX rock song car advert ? Who wrote it, who wrote the car advert? Was it Neville Wilding? Was it Julia Nagle? Was it Ben Pritchard? Or was it Alfred Hitchcock? Who wrote the GLX rock song car advert?" (during Touch Sensitive)
7 October 05 Sheffield:
- (wag in audience) : "Welcome back to Sheffield, Mark."
Mark : "It's all go." (weary voice) (second successive night in Sheffield)
10 July 05 Paris:
- "Good afternoon, we are The Fall."
24 October 05 Nottingham:
- "Good Evening, we are The Fall. Nottingham! City of disability!"
29 October 05 Southampton:
- "Now who wrote the GM Vauxhall advert?
Was it a) Neville Wilding
Was it 2) Julia Nagle
Or was it c) Richard and Judy
Or was it d)...
And the answer is e) and f) put together..." (extra lyrics in Touch Sensitive. Clayts writes: The Touch Sensitive conundrum was included on most later dates, so a definitive list is required here. Neville and Julia seemingly were mainstays on the list (Julia rightfully is co-credited, Neville is rightfully not), but at least one other name referred to regularly is Alfred Hitchcock (a reference to Steve Hitchcock, allegedly a co-writer of the tune). Bear in mind the song was first debuted by the Feb 98 line up of the band (Hanley/Burns/Smith/Nagle
6 November 05 Sankey's Soap, Manchester:
- “New veterans’ day poppy, don’t get me high, don’t make me, don’t make me cry…and Mrs Big of [?]…New veterans’ day fucking poppy, you don’t get me high, you don’t make me cry, about the one who bore me, new veterans’ day poppy” (these lyrics sung at the start and to the riff of Wrong Place, Right Time)
12 March 06 Croydon:
- "This is a song for all the people who work at Gatwick airport." (Next bit unclear...something about a police state? (before Youwanner)
- "As you can see, I've got a revolution on me hands here.. what's different?" (whilst Ben and Steve were conferring behind him).
16 March 06 Stratford-upon-Avon:
Sparta FC>
- "I thought it was supposed to be big, this place".
( into Wrong Place Right Time)
20 March 2006; Bristol:
'ahhhhhhh ahhhhhh just (unintelligible drawl) North West folk music..
1,2,3... CREAMY!'
(after Assume and into Mountain Energie )
14 May 06 San Francisco:
- "Sorry, The Talk aren't here this evening...It's a crying (laughs)...it's a crying shame" (before Theme From Sparta FC)
15 May 06 San Francisco:
- "This one is dedicated to all the people (long who have to go to work tomorrow (before Theme From Sparta FC)
- "Hello Independent...don't forget...I will always love you." (disputed...during Wrong Place Right Time)
23 May 06 Los Angeles:
Introduction by DJ Dumbass: "Hello hello, you guys are ready for something very, very special? Does anyone remember the first time they heard a Fall song? Kind of like watching the Challenger shuttle disaster, it's kind of beautiful and terrifying and gorgeous and it's going to change your life. " I'm 'Dj Dumbass with KPOO' and you are about to see something you will never see again, but hopefully you will see again in about six months in a different form, but...this is special. IT'S THE FALL!!!"
(Then 2:40 of acapello Formation FD)
-" Good evening I'm Mark E. Smith, thank you for that great introduction...from the MC from nowhere and the looong Cheshire Hills...."
26 May 06 Boulder.
- "The poster said 'We have camps for people like you...'
It was a poster of a blind man
Maybe we'll take you out to Lancashire or Colorado or somewhere like that."
- "Ninety nine percent of technicians in San Francisco
outnumber the amount of people in the audience." (alternative lyrics in Blindness)
10 June 06: Manchester.
"And now he realised it was 2009, the anniversary of The Fall" [MES
chuckling as he sings the last few words] (during Midnight in Aspen)
10 September 06 Bournemouth:
- "I watched Frank Skinner at half past 10" (during Blindness)
13 October 06 Barrow:
- "You fucking bald bastard
In your white shirt sleeves" (extra lyrics in Theme From Sparta FC)
2 November 07 Bolton:
- "I like orange juice. And the next! And the next! (after Alton Towers)