TheFallLive - Pithy Smithyisms in the 1990s

3 March 90 Coventry Polytechnic:

"Supposed to be a dance number, that." [Mumbles something unintelligible] "Right, it's all new shit so don't, so don't fucking shout, all right?" (before "Popcorn Double Feature")
- "Your tomb is deeeeeaaaadddddd!" (during "Deadbeat Descendent")
- "With feeling! 1, 2, 3, 4..." (before "Victoria")

6 March 90 Hacienda, Manchester:

"If you don't like it, fuck off on your arse!" (amended lyrics to "Black Monk Theme")

15 March 90 Zagreb:

"Good evening we are The Fall from the island of jewel... glittering beach.... glittering beach... [pause]... that's a cue.... [band goes into "chorus"]"

17 March 90 Barrowlands, Glasgow:

"Good evening, we are The Fall. We are cool group." (during "Error Orrori")
- "There's three members of the group who like to cut songs in half, y'know. (...) Sort of good, sometimes." (before "Bremen Nacht", after a short "British People In Hot Weather")

21 March 90 National Ballroom, Kilburn, London:

“On my way home I tried to work out what it was all about; I could not fathom it, I could not work it out…it was the fault of the government. At the time I couldn’t give a fuck but I couldn’t work it out, I couldn’t suss it…I was expecting a one million quid handout, I was very hard up by it…I was waiting for it; I was waiting for the chancge…but it was wasn’t coming…I was waiting for the rhythm section to move it!” (altered lyrics to Jerusalem)

- “Shout! Victorian (Christmas?) as you imagined it” (at beginning of Dead Beat Descendent)

29 March 90 Paradiso, Amsterdam:

- "Kevin, change the lights, for fuck's sake. (...). Too hot!" (before "Telephone Thing")
- "I run right quick from Rolf Harris' act. And if I beat you, fuck you twat, you will die in (...)." (amended lyrics to "Bremen Nacht")
- "While the band are new charity act, Ich rausum macht das Bremen nacht. Don't take me up on your charity, Mack. And (...) for you, twat." (more amended lyrics to "Bremen Nacht")
- "Good night, we are The Fall. You're not getting any more. Good night." (after "And Therein")
- "The hippies are tops in the balconies. (...) is on acid. What the fuck is going on? Welcome to the 1990s. Send down fucking 19 year olds to the (...). What a fucking load of shit." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "And a load of fucking weeds sat round on their asses throwing paper cups. Welcome to the 1990s. And as a prophet, I warn you, you will reek your doom! Welcome to the 1990s. Craig thought that was a bit strong. Hot shit!" (more amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Right! Get off, go on! Move it! Thank you. Good night. Thank you from the second class citizens of England." [drops microphone] (after "U.S. 80s-90s")

30 March 90 Polsslag Festival:

"Good evening, we are The Fall and we are a Thule group, as in cool. Death of a sense of humour, and death of sense and all. We are The Fall." (during "Error Orrori")
- "(...). For ever and ever, dead beat descendant. For ever and ever and ever and ever and ever." (before "Deadbeat Descendant")

1 April 90 Batschkapp, Frankfurt:

"Death of a sense of humour and death of sense. What can you do about this? Absolutely piss all. Good evening, we are The Fall." (during "Error Orrori")

29 March 90 Paradiso, Amsterdam:

"Death of a sense of humour and death of sense. What can you do about this? Absolutely piss all. Good evening, we are The Fall." (during "Error Orrori")

18 May 90 New Ritz, New York City:

"(...). Can I have a better microphone?" (before "British People in Hot Weather")
- "It was the Government's fault. And it was like... it was like... it was like waiting for the break to end." (amended lyrics to "Jerusalem")

23 June 90 Livid Festival, Sydney:

"Good evening, we are the Fall. Bracket, pause!" (during "Arms Control Poseur")
- "I was looking for gemstones. It was like a recurring fream of the kerbstone." (amended lyrics to "Jerusalem")
- "And I could not understand why, and I could not accept the fact I'd accepted the contract. That's another lyric - wrong song. I was purple. I was violet. I was unfathomable. Undirect." (more amended lyrics to "Jerusalem")
- "Er, there's a lot of water on the stage coming through so we're just gonna go off for a bit. A bit dangerous, y'know. See you in a minute. Get off, lads. It's a great tent this, innit?" (before "Wrong Place, Right Time")
- "It's empty!" (before "Hit the North")
- "The cops are tops, Brisbane-like." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- Compere: "Hello! I hate to have to tell you this but unfortunately the police have told us that's it. Sorry about that. Thank you very much for coming. Hope you enjoyed yourselves. Good night!" (after "U.S. 80s-90s")

14 July 90 Selina's, Sydney:

"I said 'I'm going straight for the car and if you wanna come, let's go'. And I don't like this speed part any more." (amended lyrics at "British People in Hot Weather")

26 August 90 Reading Festival:

(Who played keyboards at this gig? It's not Kenny Brady as you can hear him playing his fiddle at the same time during "Black Monk Theme", for example)
- "We are The Fall, from the neighbourhood of infinity." (during "Arms Control Poseur")
- Someone: "Well done lads, that was great!" (between "Zagreb" and "Life Just Bounces")

26 October 90 Norwich:

-"Well, it's nice to welcome you to the new open prison system in Anglia" (before Don't Take The Pizza)
(I think this was actually a reference to the Norwich Waterfront decor which was all exposed pipes and stark walls - Mark was certainly scanning the venue when he said this. - Ocelot)

10 December 90 St. David's Hall, Cardiff:

(Kenny Brady plays "The Birdie Song" on his fiddle before "British People in Hot Weather"!)
- "Graham, can you get it flatter outside, please?" (before "And Therein")
- "(...) had that guy jump up on the stage." (before "British People in Hot Weather")

20 August 91 Ritz, Manchester:

- "The thinking person's Duran Duran! We are The Fall!" (during "Time Enough at Last")

15 March 92 Nottingham:

-"I'm already fed up with this, it sounds like Italian disco, let's wrap it up .... Rhinestone. Rhinestone Cowboy" (during Immortality)
-"Boarding now for Pittsville Direkt, to get away from the support act, who Craig, the guitarist, wants to join" (Was this I, Ludicrous?)
-"I'll act like Iron Maiden and Guns n Roses, I'll go to Nottingham, and play the wrong city" (during Return)

29 March 92 Brixton:

"Good evening, we are The Fall and Everything Hurtz". (into Everything Hurtz)
- "Goodnight, my fucking head hurts."..."more frightening..than Gone With The Wind...." (at end of Dead Beat Descendent)

"More frightening than 'Gone With The Wind'." (before "The Birmingham School of Business School")

8 May 1992 City Hall, Glasgow:

- "Good evening, we are The Fall - Bank Holiday in Britain!" (Before the first song, Everything Hurtz)

20 May 92 Brighton:

- "Good evening we are The Fall...and, er, I am the singer, Mark." (before first song, A Lot of Wind)

23 May 92 Ancienne Belgique, Brussels:

- "Every second and third word: Europa. Brussels! Sprouts! Waaah! Shout! Every Moldavia... what is this? One, two, three... he's forgotten the lyrics again." (during "Free Range")
- "(...). The band and the group, too much to eat. Babe, rolled like a joint." (amended lyrics to "Ed's Babe")
- "No beer, cigarettes, slam, no gin, no (...). He's improvising here. Only the Town And Country and a large... know this, know that, like Bank Holiday in England. No fucking wonder there's a recession. Hup!" (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Welcome to the U.S. 1990s. A very important political statement." (more amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "No, skip it. Let's do 'Birmingham'. Do 'Birmingham'." (before "The Birmingham School of Business School")

25 May 92 Paradiso, Amsterdam:

"Well, that was the (live?) version of the new INXS video. We are the English INXS." (after time Enough At Last)
- "No beer, no cigarettes, no cheese, no cripples, no bands, no tomatoes, no potatoes." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Welcome to the U.S. 2000 and... that's the last lyric!" (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Let this be a warning to you." (during "Mr. Pharmacist")

8 June 92 Huxley's Neue Welt, Berlin:

"Come to me, all ye that would take the top off the vocals, and I will give you 'hurts'!" (amended lyrics to "Everything Hurtz")
- "'Best song I have ever heard': Stephen King. Better than 'Gone With The Wind'." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "It's Winter time and I've just cursed my luck. Hoping and wishing to land up under a car." (amended lyrics to "Edinburgh Man")
- "And if you got rid of the drum rolls... blood into stone!" (amended lyrics to "Blood Outta Stone")
- "Laughing stock of Europeans. And I am singing kind of like E.L.O." (amended lyrics to "The Birmingham School of Business School")

27 June 92 Glastonbury Festival:

-"Good afternoon, we are The Fall."
- "Wilkommen to your favourite friend, my Glastonbury muckers." (during "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Hey Mr. Pharmacist, can you help? Send me on a lovely keg." (amended lyrics to "Mr. Pharmacist")
- "OK, so we've been banned from fucking Glastonbury for ten years and they invited us back and we're supporting the Levellers. Marvellous, in't it? The Police are coming out as well, in a minute." (before "The Birmingham School of Business School")

27 July 92 Slough Festival:

"Welcome to the security conscious 2000 1990s. No beer, no brains, what do you expect when (...) portaphones?" (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")

3 August 92 Pyramid Centre, Portsmouth:

- "Proliferating across the Earth... he's so bloody daft, he can't remember the lyric! Grudge match! Hup!" (during "Free Range")
- "Horse shit! (Of sewerage)! Jimmy Nail!" (amended lyrics to "Dead Beat Descendant"
- (Can anyone decipher what MES is saying during Everything Hurtz at the 2:40 mark?)

3 October 92 Free Trade Hall, Manchester:

- "(...) the green light. A moving scenario involving six idiots. That's the crew, by the way." (during "Time Enough at Last")
- "You cannot legislate against wrongful encouragement." (before "Shiftwork")
- "Curfew (...)." (before "Ed's Babe")
- "And they were after (...)." (before "Two-Face!")

7 April 93 Hallam University, Sheffield:

"Good evening, we are The Fall from Hallam somewhere or other. Bandelo shake down! Silent night has turned into a grudgeful night. Whup! Get up! This is from the new record." (before "Why Are People Grudgeful?")

6 May 93 Newcastle::

- "Yeah, er...th-th-this show is another experiment so, er....bear with us....(to Dave Bush) Carry on...........(to audience) ...as is always the case in Newcastle.......(to band) It's Strychnine we're doing..." ( as Dave Bush adds one of his legendary (and probably never repeated) soundscapes in between War and Strychnine)

10 May 93 Junction, Cambridge:

- "The green grass was burning all around in the heart of this fucking God-forsaken town." (amended lyrics to "Ladybird (Green Grass)")
- "A bit of culture for yer, boy." (during "I'm Going To Spain")

15 May 93 London:

- " Good evening, we are The Fall, as in from heaven on the goven-cum-oven..." (during an otherwise instrumental Behind The Counter)

- "You end up like Cliff Richard" (during War)

- "125 MM...flak unite...range 1,000 (?) (alternative lyrics in Free Range)

- "Woke up, got my corny brown leather jacket on...I'm sure you wanna hear this..." (alternative lyrics in Service)

. "Why don't you bug off back to Northern Ireland and Xanadu" (in Glam Racket)

"Old people in Volkswagens...they turn off the road into services...who are they?"

(alternative lyrics in A Past Gone Mad)

- "I will not repeat myself. There is no need for it. But the dopey gits will carry on the same riff." (during "Hit the North")

16 May 93 London:

- "Good evening we are the Fall... as sponsored by Cliff Richard."

18 May 93 Pyramid Centre, Portsmouth:

"Good evening. We are The Fall. We have negotiated the swimming pool."
- "It's your friend, peace-maker Mark." (during the introduction to "Why Are People Grudgeful?")
- "This is the Winter of your mind... and Phillip Schofield, maybe. Whup!" (amended lyrics to "Free Range")

4 September 93 Slim's, San Francisco
- "We are waiting now for the end of the song." (during "Free Range")
- "Pity that wasn't (...)." (before "I'm Going to Spain")
- "And I'm going to Spain, 'coz I hate the cheesy people." (amended lyrics to "I'm Going to Spain")
- "Would you credit it - towns like Bradford and a little town like Winsconsin outside (...) exist." (amended lyrics to "Hit the North")
- "You are a slowcoach of the first water." (before "Idiot Joy Showland"; sounds like Dave Bush was starting "Strychnine" in error)

5 September 93 Slim's, San Francisco:

"In purgatory, all the rest of it will come back to you in the Phoenix Hotel, where Phonogram are staying. Go round there and talk to the full shit-house." (amended lyrics to "Glam Racket")
- "And people in shorts in Cincinatti..." (amended lyrics to "The League of Bald-Headed Men")
- "Do 'High Tension'!" (before "High Tension Line")

4 October 93 Vier Linden, Hildesheim:

- "Do 'House Of Bald'... Dave! (...). Do 'Baldy'." (before "League of Bald-Headed Men"; sounds like Dave Bush was going to start a different song; "War", possibly)

8 December 93 Roadhouse, Manchester:

"(Samplers) of 'The Infotainment Scan'! Whup!" (during "A Past Gone Mad")
- "David!" (before "The Mixer")
- "Life code... take the effects off everything, Rex!" (during "Free Range")

31 May 94 The Anvil, Basingstoke:

"They just want me to be... behind the counter, you fat bastards!" (amended lyrics to "Behind The Counter")
- "They're a bunch of fucking tramps who watch 'The Bill'." (more amended lyrics to "Behind The Counter")
- "I was a homosexual minister for rent. Forget about it! Carry on!" (amended lyrics to "Ladybird (Green Grass)"
- "Slovenly idiots!" (during "Free Range")
- "Sorry, I can't... can't work..." (during "Surmount All Obstacles", prompting walk-off)
- "White (suit) in the sun already with a baseball cap on, leering at young girls. Hup! Is that what you do for a living?" (amended lyrics to "Glam Racket")
- "Was shown in a freakshow early on, and had to deal with loads of thuggish-type bouncers from 'The Bill' - a very popular program at the moment." (amended lyrics to "Big New Prinz")
- "Sorry! Start again, please! Start again, start it again." (during the first attempt at "15 Ways")
- "And the (plates) behind the stage are completed by middle-aged idiots as they pretend to be interested in French: David, Trev, Pete." (amended lyrics to "Hey! Student)
- "All right, all right, let's get off. Go on. Right, sorry about that kids, we've just come from Lithuania and we got treated better there than we did here. It's a fucking shit-hole!" [drops microphone] (after "Strychnine")

15 August 94 The Acropolis, Edinburgh:

- "Do 'Hey! Student', please. Can you turn to the audience please, Craig?" (before "Hey Student"; sounds like "Life Just Bounces" was going to be the next song)

1 September 94 Manchester:

- "Fuck off back to the Home Counties where you belong" (alternative lyrics in Glam Racket)

2 September 94 Roadhouse, Manchester:

- "British People you can't beat up." (amended lyrics to "British People in Hot Weather")

"Fuck off back to Ireland or Canterbury...wherever it is" (alternative lyrics in Glam Racket)

3 September 94 Leadmill, Sheffield:

- "This is the break without end. This is the meaningfulness of the man." (amended lyrics to "Free Range")
- "That's the fiftieth time the group have done it. They get it right now and then. Right!" (after "Not Up to Much")
- "Say why it's the (...)" (before "Behind the Counter")
- "Play that fucking tune (...)! Hup!" (during "Life Just Bounces")

7 September 1994 Club Babyhead, Providence:

- "Good evening, we are The Fall, a (...) slow-coaches. Hup!" (during "M5")
- "We've got a (block) tonight, (...) Eurovision song contest (...). Whup!" (during "Free Range")

13 September 1994 RPM Club, Toronto:

- Brix's lyrics all the way through the start of Ladybird :
"The lyrics are back.....in the hotel or
The lyrics are back....in his hotel room"
(No Mark for ages, then he comes in...with the right lyrics. Brix continues with the same two lines and then eventually reverts to Ladybird lyrics....but returns to the missing lyrics lines all the way through the song.)
- Brix: "The lyrics are back in the hotel." (amended, er, lyrics to "Ladybird (Green Grass)")
- Brix: "God! Come on!" (during "Glam Racket")

14 September 1994 Blind Pig, Ann Arbor:

"Good evening, we are The Fall. From (...) to Heaven." (during "Surmount All Obstacles")
- "I'm getting thin from (carrion) idiots who don't know guitar parts." (amended lyrics to "Behind the Counter")
- "Can we start again, please?" (before the second attempt at "Glam Racket")

19 December 1994 Al's Music Cafe, Manchester:

- "And pillage hopes with gusto, even though they have no nerve. They've got fat arses. They are in The Fall." (amended lyrics to "War")

20 December 1994 Northwick Theatre, Worcester:

- "Can be a nice drop-beat to this band." (before "Deadbeat Descendant")

21 December 94 Liverpool:

- Brix sings her Glam Racket / Star lyrics during Middle Class Revolt

22 December 1994 Barbican, York:

"And that's why we have weeds on the stage." (during "15 Ways")
- "See bright white training shoe. Old coots retired early in Pearl City." (before "Pearl City")
- Brix: "You guys, I hate this fucking guitar. It's nothing but trouble!" [drops guitar] (after "L.A.")

20 March 1995 Roadhouse, Manchester:

"Hup! Don't like that, do yer, huh?" (during "M5")
- "'Bouncing Jackson' is a poem I wrote about connections with carpets. A (...). Hup!" (during "Don't Call Me Darling")
- "It's Springtime, the worst month of all. And I'm sat with a load of dancers whining through their window-panes." (amended lyrics to "Edinburgh Man")
- Brix: "Astro virus results: SAS has approved. 93% of surfers have had the Astro virus compared to over 22% of non-surfers. Middle class revolt. Those are the interim findings of the Astro virus study carried out by Dr Stephen Minns of the University of Leicester. For years, the government Department of the Environment and water companies have been (saying to) SAS. You proved there is a health risk." (amended lyrics to "Middle Class Revolt")
- "And it would nice to have a nice strong finish to a song." (during "Free Range")
- "Prinz!" (before "Big New Prinz")
- "Cos he is not (sat next) properly!" (amended lyrics to "Big New Prinz")

22 March 1995 Roadhouse, Manchester:

- "I don't need no Mike Hill (...) cut." (amended lyrics to "Pearl City")
- "Hey, Factory Two, come on up!" (amended lyrics to "Idiot Joy Showland")
- "And the nylon leaves are falling from the twisted shell of your hopeless mind. Your leather jacket won't compensate for your own personal (...)." (more amended lyrics to "Idiot Joy Showland")
- "And Wentworth Street is packed to gills with insects. Their nylon minds can't realise... can't realise... they cannot realise they've got to meet Mark Smith's ex-wife." (yet more amended lyrics to "Idiot Joy Showland")
- Heckler: "Go back to York!" MES: "Why don't you go back to (...)?" (before "Glam Racket")
- "My hands are full of fuck-wits." (amended lyrics to "Don't Call Me Darling")

28 April 1995 Salle de la Cité, Rennes:

"Also known as (...). Concentrate, you time-consuming morons! I've a few more (...). Hup!" (before "Pearl City")
- "Clear the stage, please." (before "Bill Is Dead")
- Karl Burns: "Hey Student! (...) croissant! Fucking Napoleon! Woah!" (during "Hey! Student" when handed the microphone by MES)
- "Dry hump! Dry hump - their speciality." (amended lyrics to "The Chiselers")

13 May 1995 Saint Lo Festival, Brittany:

- "You are a bunch of scruffs. You are a disgrace to your nation." (during "Glam Racket")
"Working (...)." (before "Edinburgh Man")
- "Simon! Simon! (...)." (after a 7 minute "Big New Prinz", prompting a restart for a further 5 minutes)
- Karl Burns: "Don't fuck up! Fuck you!" (during "Big New Prinz")
- Karl Burns: "You French fuckers! Fuck you!" (after "Hey! Student")
- Karl Burns: "Happy now? Enjoy yourselves?" (after "Deadbeat Descendent")

29 June 96 Sheffield:

-(Brix): "I just wanna say that I've missed Nottingham Rock City so much and it's lovely to be back here and I have this thing about Robin Hood" (before Powder Keg)

30 May 96 Manchester:

(Brix) “I’d like to say something. I’ve been asked to ask Lucy to come up here and sing a song. I don’t know where she is, though.” (in the long gap between Don’t Call Me Darling and Birthday)

June 27 1996 Ko-Stalden (pre-gig), Roskilde Festival:

- "Annie, I'm not your daddy..." (extra lyrics during Spinetrak)

"Welcome to the euro US 90s, welcome to the the US 80s 90s 00-ies [MES laughs]..no beer, no spikes, no jam, blackcurrent...welcome to the only iron curtain country, Europe,

Britain" (amended lyrics to US 80s 90s)

29 June 1996 Leadmill, Sheffield:

Brix: "I just wanna say that I've missed Nottingham Rock City so much and it's lovely to be back here and I have this thing about Robin Hood." (before "Powder Keg"... in Sheffield?)
- "It's more interesting looking at cigarettes! Whup! Watch it!" (during "L.A.")

27 September 1996 Prince of Wales Centre, Cannock:

- "The ten houses of evil. Four, rabid clogs. Three, like you don't know. Good evening, we are The Fall. Five, (...). The group, the ten houses of the Black Country. Good evening, we are The Fall and the next song is called 'You Pep'. Comes round in a little bit. Hup!" (during "10 Houses of Eve")
- "I don't want to go work in the rain any more. I don't want to go work and back again like the bachelors." (amended lyrics to "He Pep")
- "I tell yer, town is and two-five-five. Dyslexic in it's environment! One, two! Hup! Shout!" (during the introduction to "M5")

28 September 1996 Corn Exchange, King's Lynn:

"Come on!" (before "Cheetham Hill")
- "Start again, please. Start again. Start again at the right pace, please." (between attempts at "The Mixer"; the tempo of the second doesn't seem to be any different to the first!)
- "Do 'Counter'. Do 'Counter'." (before "Behind the Counter")
- "I'm getting thin from idiots who write rock books. Never quite made it. Idiots from Manchester on the decks. Can't keep their hands to themselves." (amended lyrics to "Behind the Counter")
- "(Better to get) a microphone that works - not one chance in three million, Jack." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")

29 September 1996 Waterfront, Norwich:

- "Right! Right, do it properly this time! Good evening, we are The Fall. Sorry I'm late! 1, 2, 3, 4!" (between the first and second attempts at "Birthday")
- "Hey! Come on! Right, we'll do it... we'll do it right, all right? 1, 2, 3, 4!" (between the second and third attempts at "Birthday")
- "And this the finish... this is the finish of this song!" (during "Masquerade")
- "(...) it really close, Simon." (before "The Mixer")

1 October 96 Ritz Manchester:

“Welcome to Heathrow (1987?)…welcome to G.B. 200…” (alternative lyrics to US 80s 90s)

3 October 1996 Civic Centre, Aylesbury:

- "Good evening, we are The Fall and the second number is 'You Pep'. 1, 2, 3, 4!" [followed by silence] (during "10 Houses of Eve")
- "I myself do not enjoy this song. You'd better lighten up." (amended lyrics to "Powder Keg")
- "This was the hell of H.M.S. Oleano." (before "Oleano")
- "Not one chance in three million, Jack." (during "The Chiselers")
- "Wilkommen to the U.S. nineties, two-thousand." (before "Das Vultur Ans Ein Nutter-Wain")
- "Brother, I cannot write these signs any more." (amended lyrics to "Das Vultur Ans Ein Nutter-Wain")
- "You boring fucking trash." (more amended lyrics to "Das Vultur Ans Ein Nutter-Wain")
- "Welcome to the guy in the white shirts with flabby-backed, black fucking pants." (amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")
- "Welcome to the guys in the bar who (...). He's run out of the building. He's run to get his aftershave." (more amended lyrics to "U.S. 80s-90s")

8 October 1996 Assembly Rooms, Worthing:

- "And what I wear is a secret in Mr Moody's lair in his attic." (amended lyrics to "He Pep")
- "One! One! One! Fucking... fucking hell! The microphone works! You've got to understand that the PA company are from Newcastle so you've got to fucking like hang on about two hours for everything. All right? All right. All right? What's the next song, Steve?" (before "Mr. Pharmacist")
- Punter: "I want my money back!" (between attempts at "The Mixer")
- "Hold your fire! Hold your fire! Remember, you are in a provincial area!" (amended lyrics to "The Mixer")
- "Hold your fucking job, like anybody else! You are provincial scum! Hold your fire! Count your fire! Move yer fucking haemglobic!" (more amended lyrics to "The Mixer")
- Punter: "Drum solo, Simon!" (after "The Mixer" stutters to a halt)

11 October 1996 Forum, London:

- "Good evening, we are The Fall. (...). I am not a bouncer." (during "Spinetrak")
- Roadie / soundman: "Come on, let me have a (network). Here we go now. Here we are. All together now, here we go! Cheetham Hill in the area! Get down! Go on, get down! Are we 'avin' it or wot, eh? Let's go! Cheetham Hill! You all know the score! Cheetham Hill! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's go! C'mon, get down!" (during "Cheetham Hill")
- Roadie / soundman: "Here we go again! Chiselers in the area! Here we go!" (during "The Chiselers")
- Roadie / soundman: "I thought I was you... come on, altogether now, alright! You know the words!" (also during "The Chiselers")
- Brix: "This is new. Fresh. Fresh out of the womb." [long pause] "It's getting stale now." (before "Das Vultur Ans Ein Nutter-Wain"; the original plan was to play "Masquerade" instead)
- "I always like flashing lights. I can see and see on Channel 4 every day at 2p.m., 2 a.m." (during "Das Vultur Ans Ein Nutter-Wain")
- "Bloody (...). Play it (...)!" (before "Don't Call Me Darling")
- (Brix) "Goodbye." (at end of last song The Joke, and after her last gig with the group)

1 December 97 Leeds:

- (Someone in the audience) : Behind The Counter."
Mark : "Actually, yeah, let's do Behind The Counter. That's a good idea that, actually. Counter. Counter instead of Jungle. 1-2-3-4"
(and into Behind The Counter)

5 December 97 London:

- "and who has the drum riser out for Channel 4's live broadcast ?" (before I'm a Mummy)

"What are you doing with a bag of crisps behind your amplifier? I'm talking about you, Tommy Crooks." (at start of Levitate).

9 December 97 Bristol:

"He is not apppre....You two, will you fuck off, get backstage will you! Neville go with him, Neville go with him, take him...ciated...Apologies for the, my interruption. I'm in the group though, you know, can't even get the staff here, this is my microphone, erm ?????.." (during Hip Priest)
- "For your sins you must watch Tommy's slides" (during Spencer Must Die)

23 December 97 Glasgow :

- "Good evening. We are Rage." (Equipment was obscuring the first two letters of the venue's onstage backdrop.)

24 December 1996 Volksbuehne, Berlin:

"Steve, give it another go!" (between attempts at "Kicker Conspiracy")
- "Counter! Counter! 1, 2, 3, 4!" (before "Behind the Counter")
- "We'll have something cheerful!" (before "Hark the Herald Angels Sing")
- "(...). The group has retired now. They're gonna go and see (...). So can we have them back on stage, please? 1, 2, 3." (before "Big New Priest")

29 January 1997 Level 3, Swindon:

"Start again, please! 1, 2, 3, 4!" (between attempts at "Spinetrak")
- "Thirty thousand pounds. (...)." (before "Hip Priest")
- "1, 2, 3! Again! Again! 1, 2, 3!" (between attempts at "Hip Priest")
- "All right! All right!" (before "The Mixer")
- "It's gotta be better than (...)." (before "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul")
- "You bought another mic? You bought one? Have they bought another microphone, the P.A. company?" (before "10 Houses of Eve")

13 May 1997 Jilly's Rockworld, Manchester:

"And this London visitor had this to say: his name was Simon Spencer." (amended lyrics to "Cheetham Hill")
- "Your sideboards are spotty and reptilian-like." (before "Plug Myself In")
- "It's so long since he worked for PWL, he can't remember the (quiet) bits." (amended lyrics to "Plug Myself In")
- "Fucking (...), Tommy! (...)!" (before "10 Houses of Eve")
- "Gonna do 'Lie Dream'? Do 'Lie Dream'. Do 'Lie Dream'. Do 'Lie Dream'! Do 'Lie Dream'!" (as the tape for "10 Houses of Eve" starts; the band continue but MES puts in a couple of lines from "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul")
- "Start without you, Simon. Start again without Simon." (between attempts at "Hey! Student")
- "Right, the next two numbers are 'Lie Dream of a Casino Soul' and something else." (during the second attempt at "Hurricane Edward")
- "Now is a moment of great indecision. Do 'Counter'!" (before "Behind the Counter")

14 May 1997 Jilly's Rockworld, Manchester:

"Thank you. There's more lyrics to that but (...)" (before "I'm Going to Spain")

9 August 1997 Cas Rock, Edinburgh:

"Do you want to try 'Masquerade', Steve?" (during "Hip Priest")
- "And I will recall the other day, I saw a bass player looking at me. I was shopping. What'd I do? I saw the bass player looking at me." (amended lyrics to "Ol' Gang")
- "He's in Edinburgh today. He's a pain in the haemglobic, anyway. No way!" (more amended lyrics to "Ol' Gang")
- "And you've got a fucking maggot for a brain but you're making a bob or two at the Commonwealth Games." (amended lyrics to "Pearl City")

6 November 1997 Mean Fiddler, Dublin:

"Right, give me some (flack), this one?" (before "Behind the Counter")

13 November 1997 Sankey's Soap, Manchester:

"Can I have the (record) back, please?" (before "10 Houses of Eve")
- "One! One! Get the vocals up, please, and now I'll thank you!" (before "I'm a Mummy")
- "Right, this is for Karl, a true soldier. Thank you." (before "Mere Pseud Mag Ed")

30 November 1997 Stage, Stoke:

"They're reading about (...). They want to shag some blonde girl. They are morons. I'm disgusted by them. They are not men. They are (...) prannies. (...). They are scum. They remind you of (...). Spencer!" (amended lyrics to "Spencer Must Die")
- "Drum solo now!" (during "Container Drivers")
- "If only the shards would reconnect in a rap-sort of style. If only, in a Snoop Doggy Dogg style." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "M5." (before "M5")
- "You'll never see me wear a suit of black leather." (amended lyrics to "M5")
- "They get very insecure." (during "Behind the Counter")
- "I'm getting sick of fat cat dicks behind me who never could quite crack it." (amended lyrics to "Behind the Counter")
- "It just goes to show that some people cannot play Northern Soul." (amended lyrics to "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul")

9 December 1997 Bierkeller, Bristol:

"For your sins you have to watch Tommy's slides." (before "Spencer Must Die")
- "And he is not appreciated. You two, will you fuck off? Get backstage, please. Thank you. Eh! Go away. Take him away. Neville, go away." [continues lyrics] "...appreciated." (during "Hip Priest")
- "Apologies for the... my interuption. I'm in the group, you know. Can't even get the staff. This is my microphone (...)." (before "He Pep")

30 March 1998 Coney Island High, New York City:

"If only you could come from the Ninex gymnasium in your baseball jacket and comprehend. If only." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "Come on, (...)." (before "Masquerade")
- "The house is falling in! Turn the vocals up, (...), you fucking idiot!" (during "4 1/2 Inch")

31 March 1998 Coney Island High, New York City:

Punter 1: "It's about fucking time!" Punter 2: "I gotta go to bed soon!" (as the band come on)
- "Planet coming up. Oh, it must be a comic shop. (...). It must nice. I lost my guitar string." (amended lyrics to "Spencer Must Die")
- "And we asked East Jersey drivers what they thought about the next mirage. Why they're working for the police. Why they're all shits of semi-mental fucking release." (amended lyrics to "Pearl City")
- "I'm in my element. It's the fifth one I've been through. It's cyclic. Seventy years. I'm a mummy." (amended lyrics to "I'm a Mummy")
- "With bouncers stamping on my feet and Jurassic Park walk (...)." (amended lyrics to "Jungle Rock")
- "They forgot to turn the fucking microphone on..." (during Spencer Must Die, opening song)
- "I'll be back soon, get a job as a stage hand." (at end of performance)

2 April 1998 Loop Lounge, Passaic Park:

"It's a gift. It's a gift (...). Please take it as a present." (during "Hip Priest")
- MES: "(...). You turned that air conditioner off? Fucking hell! Ok... don't want any fucking family fire here, y'know, as the Royal Engineers would say. Okay, okay. Turn it off." Punter: "Turn off the fucking light!" MES: "Yeah, correct!" (before "10 Houses of Eve")
- "Start again, come on! Come on! 1, 2, 3, 4.... 1, 2, 3, 4!" [Silence] "1, 2, 3, 4!" [band start "Calendar"] (after "Levitate")
- Punter: "Get back on stage! C'mon! Stop being a baby!" (after first attempt at "Calendar")
- Punter: "Stop the agony! Get over here! We see you with your arms folded! C'mon!" (during the second attempt at "Calendar")
- Tommy: "Back in a minute, folky-wolkies!" (after "Behind The Counter")

4 April 1998 Trocadero, Philadelphia:

"The P.A. (...). (...) fucking thinking that we're stupid. (...)." (between attempts at "He Pep")
- "Good evening, we are The Fall. Lazy fat-assed twats in their late-thirties." (during "Free Range")
- "The mic (...) is shit. Fucking (...)." (before "Hip Priest")
- "(...)! Speak English! Attention! Fucking shit!" (before "I'm A Mummy")
- "Right, 'Cheetham Hill', here we go." (before "Cheetham Hill")
- "See the cruisers in the cars. See shits scared to come out." (amended lyrics to "Cheetham Hill", referring to the rest of the group, who'd walked out)

5 April 1998 Black Cat, New York:

- "Right, Tommy... Tommy... Tommy!" (before the accapella bit in "The Chiselers")

7 April 1998 Brownies, New York City:

- "Good evening, we are The Fall. From your (jam rag) fucking MES fucking straight!" (during "Spencer Must Die")
- "Your fat cheeks assimilate. They turn the crowd and this line of fat asses are (...)." (amended lyrics to "Spencer Must Die")
- MES: "Right, we just have to take 10 minutes out while the old English boys have a little discussion about what the DAT's gonna be or if the DAT's gonna be on or not." 'Masquerade' sample: "This is new... fresh... fresh out of the womb." MES: "And if it's not, they're gonna beat me up like the big men they are." (before "Masquerade")
- Audience member with mic: "British people in hot weather!" (before "Everybody But Myself")
- "I've got a cassette in the bag of this (...) but I'm (...) at carrying spastics around." (amended lyrics to "Hip Priest")
- "And I suppose this just goes to show the lie dream of the shithouse late-thirties cowards who enveloped the wrath (...) envelope of casino soul." (amended lyrics to "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul")
- "They are back! The four fucking mid-thirties fucking (...)!" (more amended lyrics to "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul")
- "Can they manage it?" [song ends] "Well done, lads! They ended the song at the right time!" [band starts "Inch"] "Hello, my dead New Yorkers! (...). Scottish, Irish, Italian and fucking Canadian. What a lovely fucking group! Get the fucking song going, you fucking cvnts!" [band starts "Behind The Counter"] "Can yer manage it? They have to
stand together!" (from "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul" into "Behind the Counter")
- "They're so fat, they can't get them on the stage." (amended lyrics to "Behind the Counter")
- "Pep!" (before "He Pep")

Tommy: "Anybody got a spare guitar?" (before "Free Range")
- Audience member with mic: "Come on! Fucking play, you stupid shit! This is a fucking gimmick! Fucking play! Fucking play, you fucking stupid shit! This is a gimmick! Are you in The Fall? Are you a gimmick? Fucking play! Fucking play! Don't be a stupid shit! Fucking play! Don't be a stupid shit! (...)! Play! Don't give me this stupid shit! Fucking
play! No gimmick, man! Get behind the fucking drums and play, you..." Karl: "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" (during the chaos that is "Free Range")
- "You'd better listen to me! 'Words are the greatest expression of your soul', as the New York Times said yesterday. This is (...). All in collaboration with musicians. I'll tell yer, this town is a powder keg. You'd better listen. You'd better listen to me. You'd better listen, 'cos the town is a powder keg. Radio head, radioactive force. I had a dream. One, two, three. Radio head active. Where buck grunts had a program on the late TV. And then, there was three people who had to turn up, and then there was buck grunts. Three comedians. And then the owner of the Brownies club was real glad to see (...) three comedians turning up. But he didn't realise that the town is a powder keg. There was three comedians, there was buck grunts, the other one was somebody else, somebody else, and the next one in combination. And the owner of the Brownies club just hoped it made three figures. See you." [drops microphone] ("Powderkeg")
"-And these three are gonna beat me up like the big men they are." (start of Masquerade)..
Crooks : "Anybody got a spare fucking guitar in the audience, I've broken me fucking strings...")
-"What we got here is a Scottish man, a fucking animal on drums, and a fucking idiot." (MES)
(Burns - "yeah, no singer, man. Where's the fucking singer ? You cock")
-"I've been er-assaulted in public here by two people, or three people, you've been witness to this. Bear witness laddies. They're very big....I tell you what, these three...I got a taxi and some fucker pulled a gun out oh-on me, from fucking Pakistan or someone." (MES)
(Hanley mimes a violin and adds appropriate woe is me noises)
"Look, the very thing...these three were cowering in the fucking dressing room....as...usual......" (MES) (throws mic onto stage)
(band goes into tune-up racket)
(picks mic up) "They don't work for (the team ?)..They're very hard....all together." (MES) (walks off) (all end of Free Range)

27 April 1998 Dingwalls, London:

- "Got a new song out. It's about (...) drugs and that. It's set in Lancashire. But it's been lost in the vaults of the record company by our manager. Our single is called 'I'm A Fucking Brown Tonguer'." (amended lyrics to "He Pep")
- "If only, in a rap sort of style, I ran out of a bar of chocolate yesterday." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "(...), don't want to do any work nowadays." (before "Powderkeg")
- "But one time, father said to me, 'You might think you're a singer, but you're really a builder. You'll have no luck and money or advantages. You've got time for everybody. Do you know everybody? And the plastic will melt into the ground. And you know everything.'" (amended lyrics to "Everybody But Myself")
- Michael Clark: "Martin? Martin? Can you put the intro tape on, please? Martin? Intro tape, please. Intro tape... the intro tape. In-t-ro tape." (after "Industrial Estate"

28 April 1998 Dingwalls, London:

- "Good evening we are The Fall - sorry about the nervous laughing " (during Everybody But Myself)
- "if only...if only the shards would reconnect in a rap sort of style...(to heckler)
and you would shut your face for five seconds." (during the quiet bit in Ten Houses Of Eve, with big cheer from rest of audience)

"One, one! (...) fucking place, fucking technicians (...) nothing fucking works. One! (...). One, two, three, four!" [silence] (before "Oleano")
- "We'll do what we did (...)." (before "Hip Priest")
- "Yeah, what's everybody's opinion, then? (...)." (before "Masquerade")
- "If only the shards would reconnect in a rap sort-of style, and you would shut your face for five seconds." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "All right, we'll take a five minute break, ok?" (between attempts at "Ol' Gang")

11 August 1998 Students Union, Manchester University:

"I want my chocolate. I want it fucking now!" (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "Helium for everybody, that's what we need." (before "He Pep")
- "Tom!" (during "Free Range")

12 August 1998 Astoria 2, London:

- "I say old gang (...) back at me. I tell yer, even my cat would baulk at this. Hup! Good evening, we are The Fall. Hup!" (during "Ol' Gang")
- "This is the last time you will ever see me reading lyrics again. Don't trust me. I love the carpet of Astoria 2. It's the only carpet that's worse than my house." (amended lyrics to "Spencer Must Die")
- "You make me smile once in a while. XFM. I always loved XFM. One of the greatest estate agents in the world. They were the best British company from boils and illness." (more amended lyrics to "Spencer Must Die")
- "Turn the lights off, Ed. Turn the lights off the drummer, please. Off, thank you. Hup!" (before "The Joke")
- "(...). I'm so grateful to be here. (...) speak to Loaded magazine." (during the introduction to "Levitate")
- "Come on, Thomas. Get the red light on. Get the red light on." (before "Powderkeg")
- "On short time. Short time. Short time." (before "Plug Myself In")
- Punter with microphone: "Mark E! Come back! All is forgiven! Mark will sink us! Mark will sink us! Mark will sink us! Mark will sink us!" (before "This Perfect Day")

14 December 98 Bristol:

-"Hit me-ah, this next song is called 'this perfect day', it's new year and it's in honour of all the fucking licence fees you pay over and over again...And when the band remember...."
-"Now as a homage to sadness groups a special Christmas concert for miserable groups who play slow. I, I've brought these people with me and they're doing very well. Now you can have The Joke like now, 1234..."

21 October 1998 St. Bernadette's Catholic Social Club, Whitefield:

"(...). This purple lead? (...)." (before "10 Houses of Eve")
- "The Crown And Anchor lies on the corner. I tell yer, town is a (...) powder keg." (before "Powderkeg")

22 October 1998 St. Bernadette's Catholic Social Club, Whitefield:

"(...). He's very happy. They're all very happy." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve", during the slow bit)
- "Carry on! Carry on! 1, 2, 3, 4!" (between attempts at "Ol' Gang")
- "(...) the stupid old fat gits called 'Old Gang'." (amended lyrics during the second attempt of "Ol' Gang")
- "Masquerade... 1, 2, 3... Tom, come on!" (before "Masquerade")

14 December 1998 Fleece and Firkin, Bristol:

- "And over and over again, that Sting man, I'm sick to the guts of him in the part of your town." (amended lyrics to "Anecdotes & Antidotes in B#")
- "And if only it was all like you believed before TFE took over." (amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "If only, in a rap sort of style, you could sort it out. Oh, oh, oh, if only." (more amended lyrics to "10 Houses of Eve")
- "And a P45 (...) and it's overdue. I got a message from the record company. And it's overdue. I got a message from a 18 year old (...) twat. You pep!" (amended lyrics to "He Pep")
- "He was talking about his house. I was thinking about my debts. I needed to bite my lip to levitate." (amended lyrics to "Levitate")
- "Right! Tom! 1, 2, 3, 4!" (during the introduction to "Calendar")
- "And if the man is (...) to his horse on his (leg), we take him round the corner and pop goes the weasel." (amended lyrics to "Antidotes")
- "What? What? Er, if you want, Nev. Nev... yeah, right. 'F-'Oldin'', Nev, right. 1, 2, 3, 4!" (before "F-'Oldin' Money")
- "Yeah, we'll be back in a minute." (after "F-'Oldin' Money")
- "The (...) of the bones is disintegrate into the next song." (before the second version of "Touch Sensitive")
- "Inevitable. Too busy never (...). Tom's (...). Too busy." (before "Scareball")
- "Right! Come on! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!" (during "Scareball")

29 December 1998 Ritz Ballroom, Manchester:

- "Tom! 1, 2, 3, 4! Tom!" (before "The Joke")

28 February 99 Ashton-Under-Lyne:

- "Hey - no bag !" (presumably a reference to a missing handbag belonging to Julia, who was absent from the gig) "That's one third of the real song" (after opening performance of Touch Sensitive)
-"Some kind of poetry from songs I can't remember.
Hit it ! x 7 (with reverb - gets progressively louder and more yelpy)
Touch Sensitive (reverb again...)...
Adam ? Say something Adam....
Adam (shouts) Fucking go for it, man
Mark (impersonating Adam) Go for it mate
Adam Good night
Mark Thank you" (after The Joke)

1 March 99 Ashton:

- "Goodnight... thank you. Tape on or DAT please, Spethy*... quick!"
During He Pep: "And we've got a new single out... it's called Touch Sensitive... but the group's forgot it! Hoi! He Pep! They are all wankers... I go round the houses... up and down the stairs... (garbled)"
After 2 failed attempts at getting the band to play Mr. Pharmacist: "1, 2, 3... Hey!... No, we can't do that one... It's very difficult, it's very cold... This is the state of the nation today... slack bellies of people in their mid-50s... can you fucking believe it?" (after Calendar)

(* = Assume this is referring to Speth Hughes?)

15 April 99 London:

-"There aren't enough programmes about hospitals on TV these days, that is my complaint" (at start of Ten Houses Of Eve).

5 May 99 Birmingham:

- "As I stagger towards you over clad stones.......Birthday Song.....Good Evening We Are The Fall." (before This Perfect Day)
- "(In deep voice) "The keys are replaced..."(in normal voice) ..."by mic stand..."
(shouts) "and can you see....hey"... (into Ten Houses of Eve)

6 May 99 Brighton:

- DAT for F-'oldin' Money kicks in by mistake, courtesy of Speth Hughes - runs for about 30 seconds then :
- "Well, I don't know about this. Now with my new democratic image. Now that my (adopts silly voice similar to the 'see yer mate' line on C'n'C) PR company is selling out my award for....(laughs)....Street cat of the World in (indecipherable)...."
- "Okay, we're gonna take a five minute break, thank you very much ! We'll be back with a 20 minute set." (they actually come back for two encores lasting a total of 6 and a half minutes (after Ten Houses Of Eve)

10 May 99 Cheltenham:

- "Hello, Joni Mitchell" (between Perfect Day and Touch Sensitive)
- "Saturday’s will never be the same again." (between Anecdotes in B# and F’oldin Money)
- "Adrian and Neil and Stephanie, they took it all together – and they felt very warm and they were very happy – because an angel descended. His name the Lord Blackbeard!" (between Ketamine Sun and Ol' Gang)

13 May 99 Luton:

- "And I get a strange feeling of deja vu" (first line of The Joke after insisting the band play it again).

15 May 99 London:

- "fucking taxi" (extra swear word added to Touch Sensitive lyric: self pre-cog?)

27 Aug 99 Reading Festival:

- "And if you are backstage, you chitter-chatter on the Reading backstage gap. Is louder than the music of the group - what do you do about that ? They also owe me £2750 (starts laughing), £5 in VAT (laughs heartily)...so is it your birthday ?" (impromptu lyrics during Birthday)

28 August 99 Leeds:

- "Can you all get out of the way for half an hour?" (at end of Touch Sensitive, talking to photographers?)
- "If only Neville could get his pedal in order, in your green and blue
black shirt.....and your multicoloured version of Yorkshire" (during Ten Houses Of Eve)